i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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