I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
