Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize