do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
