she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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