and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
