By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
