What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
