yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize