She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize