Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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