i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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