I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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