someone get that fucking seahorse.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
