he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
