I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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