I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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