...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
