If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
