That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
