for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
