he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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