I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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