she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
