you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
