go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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