To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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