i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
