I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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