Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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