Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize