Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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