she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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