Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
