I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
there is glitter all over my balls
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