Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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