Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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