Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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