is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We have started to decorate penises.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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