even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
