I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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