Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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