Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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