if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize