You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize