if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
