So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
