I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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