wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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