How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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