were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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