eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
