she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
