Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
