if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
