im so drunk with asians
where?
always
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
