I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
