Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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