Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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