actually, I'm a sock model
She's JV to your varsity
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
