Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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