He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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