I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
