Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think people are normalizing furries
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
