mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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