id be glad to
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
