No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I would fuck him just for his dog
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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