Buhtt sex?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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