i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
