is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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