i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
