i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
