I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
