Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize