I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
