That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
