I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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