Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize