You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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