I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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