I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
